Frozen in Time

It amazes me how time works it magic on our lives. Aged wine tastes better. Oxidized jewelry complements the Indian skin tone. And old shirt worn without washing reminds me of the time i had worn it last & the thoughts that were running through my mind then. Each ticking second badgers me to cram as much as i can in the post, cause my mindset may never be the same again. 

Somewhere in fast pace of life, the daily rush-hour, deadlines,, we forget to catch hold of the running time. We forget to live the moment. The first bite of spicy noodles..the lingering taste on which we decide whether the meal is sumptuous. Of course being overtly philosophical isnt my way. time has changed so much for me and so little too. Time has made his presence felt in certain relationships & a few are still brand new. 

Over the last 3 years of engineering, i learnt a lot apart from my major. i wont say it changed me inside-out. i didn't dye my hair pink. I still hate Metallica. I NEVER wanna get sloshed.. It altered my pace. It changed my perspective to things that i always chose to blindly accept. It made sure that i learnt from my mistakes. It also tested my conscience. I had a lot of chances to choose between the right & wrong...To decide what is wrong for me from the right. I became very acutely aware of the months passing by. Semester after semester. Hopping from one subject to another. Literally scrapping the surface of deep concepts that are explained in books and papers and what not. It gave me a sense of hollowness. i tried my best each time. To retain what i had learnt, to ponder and comprehend its actual importance. but before i could even poke the subject a little more, time had moved on. It was practical time. viva time.PL time. Exam time. and then it was vacation a.k.a lounging at home time. And its final year now. And i have no words to actually sum up the last 3 years. I have no speech ready to give myself the closure that graduating will be as satisfying as the tenth and twelfth milestones. It hasnt even hit me hard enough yet. i dont feel challenged. I scale it all against time and that makes me feel even more dumber. My schoolmates have done a lot more over the period of time that i spent doing all the listed above. i dont know my worth to any company. I just know i will finish what i had started. i will go through this ordeal and serve my time. 

My mind is bordering on the darker shades of blue. Time has frozen me. My mind state doesn't feel fluid... it feels stagnant. Change is imperative and almost essential. I am waiting for that change.