Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Mornin' !

The first morning of my getaway was ethereal. The warm sun peeping though the double drapes over a big french window. Cuddled up in an oversized comforter, i simply chose to let my eyeballs take in some reality while I continued to dwell in the throes of laziness. The light bouncing off the white wall and the gush of water were enough to break my reverie as I decided to embrace this beautiful day of the week – Saturday. All I could recollect were the floppy hair and warm eyes that my last night’s thoughts were devoted to. His football match was like a buzzing bee but I still managed to get the best sleep on his shoulder.
The cold hard floor shook the last of my efforts to melt into a lazy puddle. 
As I stretched my arms over my head, feeling my spine take its structure, a smile crept on my face. Today was the first day of the most amazing weekend. This day of firsts began with my banter with the cutest person on this planet. His childish glee swept not just my week-long stress, but also got under my skin. As I bit into my strawberry danish, I couldn’t resist a laugh at his stupid puns and scientific innuendos just randomly yet strategically finding its way into conversation.
Legs stretched out on the rug, with either backs against the bed and window, I realized the warmth that good company brings into our cluttered and compressed minds. The information overflow leaves us wanting more. More of something that never satisfies. Yet, I found myself replete with happy fuzziness just to be a part of his bubble, a part of his thought-flow. As if all my burdens were picked up and temporarily help by him as I enjoyed his sunshine. Sometimes its just the connection, the feelers find their way and exude serenity and happiness, enough to loosen up the mind of a mumbaikar.
The pit-patter of the rain was like the after-taste of fresh pineapple cake. The slate-gray sky mimicked my mindset  - clouded and burgeoning – waiting to soak my world with drops of happiness. His fingers gripping mine jolted me out of my daydream as we debated over staying-in over out. His eyes full of promise and my heart full of feels.


Sunday, June 22, 2014

Why cant we be peaceful always ?!

I  love shopping. Its an addiction. There, I admit to my weakness. The smell of new clothes put in crisp new plastic bags. The ecstatic gush of assertive emotion the moment i find something perfect in size, shape and color. The looking around, dazzling lights, new things all around...everything just comes together as one big panacea of an event.

Its gonna be hard to give that up. To move past the urges and differentiate between want and need. But it has to be done. Because shopping is an expensive distraction.

My mind has a way of finding its own way to encourage impulses. It literally looks for event that will trigger the lets-spend-money emotion and i tend to encourage it. I believe there are 3 people living inside my head. One is ME (my conscience), my mind(this independant, masochistic creature) and my instincts. So i feel the most harmonious is when all these three are aligned, either for or against a decision - unanimously. Anyway, so curbing the debates between my people is my latest quest for peace.

This eggs me to discuss why i don't feel peaceful all the time. The answer is one word - exposure. Seriously. Thats all. But people have different definitions of peace. Some like it noisy  like a club..some need to feel fuzzy..some need tranquilizers. I need Harmony between my people and my ego. At times, i feel peace is not just a state of the mind, its a physical state of the body as well. Its not often that i feel peaceful in a bus, or in a club or even with an upset stomach. Harmony is nature's way of claiming its stability. I also love composure. And i like myself in a composed demeanor solving problems with a flourish and sashaying across my life. But it takes more than just a fleeting thoughts to achieve something. 

Certain people disrupt my peace-bubble. They puncture it with verbal attacks of their own accord and move along. I cant stand opinionated verbose people. Its like they have a lot on their mind to decimate. And it takes me time to mold around their ways because they share my personal space. This is another thing peace does not agree with..It needs solitude for perfect harmony and alignment of thoughts. External influences will only sway the path in another direction. Thats why its very important to learn to be retentive of your own thoughts and personal being. Its very hard to not imitate whats branded as "trending today" and thrown in your face. Its not easy to go back to your original state after being molded by external influencers.

But, who asked you to be so fickle ? Thats a question i cannot answer. It bothers me too. Because i have acted impulsively and lost out on many important things just because of external influence. Like its hard to not let all that information seep in and nest in your brain. Sometimes i feel my mind welcomes the external opinion and nurtures it till it find another stronger external force.

I can only assert myself to be more mentally grounded and confident of who i am. I don't need any external opinion to realize the truth in my action. i am my own person and i take full charge of what i am doing in my own way. Coz my way is the best way. Cheers !!