Criticism

The mind is a boxful of ideas - both good and evil. An overflowing endless stream of thoughts comprising questions, opinions, conjectures, mental pictures of past events, hope, mental pictures of supposed future events among other random fleeting thoughts. The resilience of the mind allows one to overcome criticism, failure and other seeming insecurities. Its the mind that heals the verbal wounds or invisible cuts on your self-esteem. Self-talk is this healing process. it may be abstract to say but the mind actually steps on the very failures that lead to success. Its this flexible and inflexible property of the mind (whirlpool of ideas) that allows you to "let go" and "move on" and in extreme cases "hold on".

An ambitious manager had everything going for him. His superiors were impressed with his ability to manage people and get the work done. He had just been promoted and was now leading a team of 4 members. His task was to develop a attendance system for one of the sub-departments of the company. He had an uncanny tact of getting his work done and fueling his ambition by motivation. Although that was the golden rule to successful teamwork, he used to scold and criticize his juniors. His sharp words caused a wave of rage which he though fueled their passion to work harder, just to get back at him. This unhealthy approach awarded him many enemies and almost all his associates and colleagues got wind of this insidious attitude. He took personal hits at his low-performing juniors and berated them to learn to "get off of their lazy arses" and "work enough to deserve the salary". These highly qualified fresh MBAs had nothing to lose but their self-esteem. The constant criticism left them feeling inadequate and unwanted. It reflected in their social attitude and body-language. It majorly hit the most sensitive and active part of the mind - self-confidence.

Constantly listening to your flaws and inadequacies is like consciously scratching the same wound over and over again. Your mind begins to build a defense-thought mechanism where it desperately searches for the positives to combat with all the negativity. As its begins to hunt, it checks for the validity of these "positives". For example the manager criticized one of the juniors on grounds of her inefficiency due to her lack of interest in the project. In such a case its natural to mentally search for instances where this argument has been proven wrong. For example she may be thinking how her keen interest in cooking lead to making the finest Enchiladas she's ever made. In short, this defense mechanism is the minds natural way of guarding the fragile self-esteem which is the core of your being. The greater the self-esteem the greater the confidence, bigger the smile and increased self-reliance. However, the mind can do only so much to protect and heal the self-esteem. Continuous external or internal criticism can lead one to believe and accept that these supposed flaws as the constituents of our being. The mind runs out of positive situations and instances to combat the negativity and heal the mental wounds and eventually the defending activity loses its vigor. you eventually learn to live with these flaws and spiral only downwards in all facets of your life. Your mind withdraws from every combative situation and instead thoughts of sympathy and comfort begin to crowd around. You start feeling sorry for yourself and gradually learn to sympathize and comfort that every externally-inflicted  flaw on you. Feeling sorry for yourself is the lowest point in your self-esteem, wherein its virtually smashed to smithereens. And as its universally known; repairing something broken takes twice as long as to create something new.

Fight the criticism, but not with anger, instead with self-affirmation. Your self-esteem is your core and you must protect it at any cost. Constantly reminding yourself about your strengths is not the only solution. Try to find the relevance of that critical statement by weighing it in your mind. The female junior could have instead thought about whether she was actually interested in that particular project. If she was indeed, then the managers sharp words were blanks from a gun and if she wasn't, then maybe it was time for self-correction. Taking it as a personal hit (irrespective of whether it was intended) will directly damage your self-esteem. Process those sharp words and try to find out the truth by asking yourself the question. Its always good to pick out the gold flecks from mud. 

The world is not short of arrogant cocky pricks. But repairing a damaged self-esteem requires a lot of patience and effort, and why go through all that trouble when you can eliminate the root cause of these wounds. Criticism taken positively is easier said than done. But who said the best was easy ?