The disco lights danced across her face as she waded through the bubbling happy and drunk crowd. Her mind was on overdrive as she scanned the bar for him. Peeking through the crowd, her eyes settled on his perfect head. There he was - comfortably at the bar, lost in his own world. She clutched her purse, fingers knotted in a death-like grip and found an innocuous spot between two noisy tables. She smoothed her dress, quickly glanced at her phone, set it to blocking mode and popped it in her bag. Tonight she would calm the raging storm and begin collecting the pieces of her shattered mindset. This was it for her. This was the end of the game, the dead-end and her last glance at her past.
Life seemed to have had her pinned down. She seemed to have been through the struggles of twenty years of human life in the last 2. It took twice the effort to spread her wings and fly and work her way through life. There was obviously more to this than just a man or a neglected heart. She had lost her grip. Her own personal thumbprint seemed to have dissolved and left behind was a model of generic, carefully carved caricature of a woman. Beneath the beautiful face hid years of hardwork and self-reflection. Her pink lips curled to an evil grin as she took one hard look at him and opened her mind to the future.
She let her thoughts flow as she tapped her feet to the beats. The club was filling up and it was getting harder for her to maintain her stare. As she gulped down her third glass of neat scotch, the warmth spread to her inner core and she stood up only to feel the mix of alcoholic high and fetters of her past. She swayed her hips to "Somebody" by Natalia La Rose and made her way into the frenzied dancing crowd. Metaphorically she had given up. She decided to gulp her regrets in one shot and blend into the social mix, where everything has a layer of neutrality and mediocrity. She wanted to get out there and let the world naturally heal her wounds and let her thrive. The crowd went crazy to the beats of "Titanium" and she found herself in perfect-sync.. the wave of personal confidence shook her as she saw her achievements flash across her face. She could see the darkness find its way out of her mind as every nagging question rationalized to an answer. She submitted herself spiritually, intellectually and emotionally to her core and virtually let go of each negative emotion while tapping away. Tonight was hers. Everything she had been was for something or somebody. But the power was hers. She decided to harness it and carve her path.
She made her way through to the bar only to find somebody else had been sitting there all along. It was never him. She deluded herself to believing that his perfect head was her elixir. He never even existed while she shed her inhibitions and danced away. She threw her head back in liberating laughter and parked herself on the nearest stool. Cradling her final glass of scotch she let the numbness take over.