Mozzarella "reality" bites

I can hear my own cries like I hear the whistling wind
Its the new Fall, and new memories have been brought in ...
The old rungs(of my ladder), now lie below, broken and gone
Were the smiles back then even real at all?

The days seem longer, buzzing with activity
with warmer air up here, laced with simplicity
I poke my head above the clouds of past grief
I am still searching, deep for that smile of relief

My questions are unanswered, terminated with a period
I wanted nothing even then, but only to be loved
the depth of my heart, felt so close
now an abyss, was long ago sold

I loved too many times, and lost the equal
I won too many times, the trophy to be "real"
But I walk empty-handed, a blank smile pasted
over the countenance of the resilient - burnt and tainted ...

A distant memory now isolated like an island
with a heart so cold, it had me stranded
But shorter nights and longer days have me granted
the power to wash, wash away the faint-hearted

I fear my own vindication, the strain on my leash unbearable
But the joy it brings, oh its absolutely unparalleled ....
I'm no more the damsel, or a one in distress
No longer a victim, of a tormentous process

Each month I climbed a rung,
upward and onward to the peak of my dreams
scornfully staring at the travesties of my yesterday
I am living a dream in my today